Monday, November 28, 2011
If this is a fairytale, it's a fucking boring one
It's been more than a month since i've had anything to write. Not to say that there were absolutely nothing to write about... just that i dont feel there is much to write on.
What's there to say? That I see this as an unofficial engagement because there was no proposal from his side, just a mutual agreement that I'd convert and hence marry him. He disagrees. I tell you, there is nothing romantic in an engagement when it involves difficult decision to convert from one religion to another. You dont get the typical "Will you marry me?" kind of stuff. Instead, you get "So will you be converting or not?" And i am hopeless about the former. I don't care what he said, a question "Do you want to get married?" is abso-fucking-lutely different from an actual proposal. The kind that comes with a ring or at very least a flower.
Why am i so fucking upset and disappointed over this? I don't know. The same way I don't know why I'm sitting here at Starbucks Pavilion, writing these and crying at the same fucking time.
I guess I dreamed too much, expected too much. The more you hope, the more disappointed you get in the end.
Also probably because I'm hormonal now.
What's there to say? That I see this as an unofficial engagement because there was no proposal from his side, just a mutual agreement that I'd convert and hence marry him. He disagrees. I tell you, there is nothing romantic in an engagement when it involves difficult decision to convert from one religion to another. You dont get the typical "Will you marry me?" kind of stuff. Instead, you get "So will you be converting or not?" And i am hopeless about the former. I don't care what he said, a question "Do you want to get married?" is abso-fucking-lutely different from an actual proposal. The kind that comes with a ring or at very least a flower.
Why am i so fucking upset and disappointed over this? I don't know. The same way I don't know why I'm sitting here at Starbucks Pavilion, writing these and crying at the same fucking time.
I guess I dreamed too much, expected too much. The more you hope, the more disappointed you get in the end.
Also probably because I'm hormonal now.
